Last Friday Night


What a night. Dancing to Madeon under twinkling lights. Getting drunk on apple flavoured vodka and red bulls. Sharing a lollipop. Kissing curly haired boys. Chocolate flavoured kisses. Being bitten by dracula. Speaking (bad) Japanese. Dancing in a foursome sandwich. Meeting my Essex sister. Kissing more curly haired boys. It all ends with a foam party!

It doesn't end there; Life is a non-stop party. Underground gig in the depths of unexplored Dalston. Smoking under the twinkling lights and flags of faraway places. Discussing Arashi & KAT-TUN with newfound friends. Sweaty dancing in a nondescript room full of men. Seeing the look on Sayuri's face when we realised Michael brought us to a gay club. Club hopping from one bar to another. Jaegerbombs in a darkened technicolour cave to dubstep. It all ends with fried chicken and friends under flurorescent lights

Nights I live to be single for.



Meeting Jamie Laing in Harvey Nicks. Madeon in Camden with Rhema. Copious amounts of vodka lemonades. Pretending to be from Arizona. Being chatted up by baldies. Dancing in the behemoth of Camden. Come out sweaty and redo all over again. Discovering the Purple Turtle. Ogling over Zac Efron's punky twin. Dancing to Burn, Burn. Stumbling home at 3am with a McDonald's take out to the Renaissance hotel. Outward bound to Hatfield at 6.30am. Good times.



This is the way I see it: You're only young once. So go dye your hair that weird colour, go out dancing till 5am, take that invite to the afterparty, kiss that boy you'll never see again, make out in the alley, try every cocktail imaginable, take as many shots as you can tolerate, spend that night covered in your own vomit, dance till you can't stand up anymore, say the things you'd never be able to say normally, let it all out, whip your hair, step out of your comfort zone, be free...
you're only young once. You will never learn your limit if you don't push it.

Let everything that goes wrong be lessons. Remember them so you can tell those stories to your grandkids. If you can overcome a crisis, deep inside you know that anything is now possible. Nothing will stop you. Its not how hard you can hit, but how hard you can get hit and still move on. Don't hold back. Leave those fuddy-duddy activities for when you're old.

Go be boring somewhere else. Live the moment while you're here. Seize the opportunity. Grab the potential. I'm tired of hearing all your crap.


Back In The Pink

My tips are pink again! Circa February 2012 I've been rocking the hot My Little Pony tips and bleached them blonde in April when they faded to peach. Felt I needed more colour in my life again so this time they're a lighter shade like Percy Pig/Pepto Bismol. It looks really crappy but I plan to cut my hair in 2 weeks anyway so this is just some temporary frivolity. 



Last One

Have you ever been swept off your feet? Taken to new heights when least expected it and experienced this feeling that you've dreamt of since forever? Given a glimpse of that ideal situation and made to feel like everything is going to be great. A life where every day was sunny despite the rain, where you felt happy despite the sadness around you, where you put up with a lot of things because one person made it all just seem insignificant. A huge pot of gold at the end of that beautiful rainbow.

Then imagine it being ripped away from you. Imagine the carpet being pulled out from beneath your feet. Watch it slowly crumble around you. It feels like being stabbed in the dark multiple times and you can't escape because your mind won't let you.



I want to kiss someone. But I have no one now.
And meaningless kisses in the club with a random stranger just doesn't do it anymore.

I just want you for one more day.



Geeky Tomboy

I think there's nothing sexier or geekier than wearing knee socks. There's just something about wearing a cute skirt and my Superga's with my knee socks and thanks to Primark & H&M I've now amassed a great collection. Weather here is perfect sock weather unlike Malaysia where I'll just get stared at for trying to be "kawaii". 

I love the whole jumper, huge glasses, knee socks look and I've been rocking it to class the past few days like the good art uni student I am ;)




A long, long time ago, there was a happy young couple who lived near the Kunlun mountains. The man was called Houyi and his beautiful wife was Chang'e. They were both very kind and were loved by the villagers. 

One day, a Bodhisattva passed by and gave Houyi and Chang'e the elixir of immortality as reward for leading a charitable life. She told them the elixir would give them eternal life. The couple were very happy with the reward and decided to drink the elixir together on the 15th day of the eighth lunar month when the moon was full and bright. 

As they were rejoicing on that day, nine vultures soared into the sky and transformed into scorching suns. Ten suns burned fiercely in the sky like smoldering volcanoes. The trees and grass were scorched. The land was cracked and parched, and the rivers ran dry. Many people died of hunger and thirst.

Chang'e was scared and wanted to leave earth with her husband immediately. She drank half of the elixir. As she reached out to hand the remainder of the elixir to Houyi, it fell to the ground and spilled. 

Houyi, though deeply grieved, found his resolve rekindled at the sight of people suffering. He took out his red bow and white arrows and shot down nine suns one after another. The weather immediately cooled down. Heavy rains filled the rivers with fresh water, and the grass and trees turned green. Life had been restored and humanity was saved.

Soon the elixir began to take effect and Chang'e felt herself being lifted toward Heaven. She decided to live on the moon because it is nearest to earth. 

Houyi was very sad watching as Chang'e flew off to the moon. He called out her name to the moon as it grew very round and bright. He hurried to his yard and put some food that Chang'e loved and some incense on a table to show his love for Chang'e.
Although Chang'e lives on the moon, her heart remains in the world of mortals. Never did she forget the deep love she has for Houyi. Years later, many people join Houyi to send blessings to Chang'e every year on the fifteenth day of the eighth month. This gives The Mid-Autumn Festival.


Hmm, the legend I'm told is totally different and lot more romantic but I couldn't find it re-told anywhere online so I thought that was equally romantic as the one I know. I love how Chinese legends are either really romantic or really heroic and usually a combination of both.

Pics were taken back in September


Union Harry


My friend Silje tore out and gave me Harry's page in last month's British Vogue in exchange for Taylor Swift's Red album (Yes, the irony that the two are now dating is not lost on me). I've put it right beside my pillow so he's the first person I see when I wake up and last when I kiss him goodnight before bed. Now that my own blue-eyed boy is no more I have to make do somehow right? 

The Secret says to keep things you want in constant view so I want a brand-new blue-eyed, curly haired British boy dammit! I've even decorated my room all Union Jack themed and stuff to attract some good vibes but who cares, LOOK AT ME ACTING ALL CUTE AND SHIT!



I really felt at my lowest today. Standing in the rain and cold for half an hour stressing out about time, transport, my paper due in 2 days. Not having my headphones to drown the voices in my head, because they were misplaced. Standing in the tube on the way to class alone and almost breaking down in tears lost in my thoughts replaying that conversation. I don't regret it, but it doesn't lessen the pain. I think about it and I feel that sharp stab in my chest, like an ice pick hacking away. More painful than anything I've ever been through, wishing that I'd rather go through 30 days of period cramps than...this.

Why does this hurt more? Because the last one had no pretenses. There was no qualms that anything was going to happen, we both knew that. This time hurts more because I wasnt stopped from dreaming. The happy moments, the words, the actions then...nothing. Leaving me to wonder what went wrong when nothing changed - but you. And you. No fucking guts to say anything.

I don't know how much more of this I can take. I'm done. I'm finished. I'm broken and it's going to take awhile to believe in this overrated fantasy that seems just so far out of my reach my whole life. I don't and I didn't ask for much even when you said you feel overwhelmed. I know what it's like to want space, believe me I do.

You're a child. That much is obvious now.


The fear of not being good enough.


23 days

In 23 days I am going to die sad, alone and full of regret. Because of one thing I am afraid of dying.


Post Grad

 The best 'family' anyone could ask for; graduation flowers from Joshua and Kassam (my boiiiiis!); makeshift vases from my favourite liquor; Kassam's delicious birthday cake (butter icing yummmmmm) lovingly made by Vanessa. I love my friends ♥



Random Thought

When they carry them in their trousers I feel two things:
1. Oh thank goodness!
2. You've got the cheek to think you're getting it tonight, you're living in a dream world boy.


Graduation tonight at the Abbey. I'm officially a first class graduate! It was great seeing all my old coursemates again.



A Day In My New Life

Images of a typical day of my new life as a Masters publishing student in London. Every day involves long bus/train rides, seemingly endless trips on the Underground, a wary walk on the dodgy underpass at Elephant & Castle, lugging your mahoosive collection of magazines/reference books/notebooks/folders/files etc, and consuming unhealthy amounts of coffee (large Americano with hot milk & 2 packets of brown sugar).

Oh, and the headache of wondering what the fuck I'm going to wear because its an art university and you will feel self-concious amongst the intentionally well-dressed hipsters.

Just received the assessment for my first assignment and the feedback is not good. Definitely not my usual standard; gotta pull up those knee socks and get cracking on the research *cries*

Gotta love uni.



Red lipstick is a little too dramatic everyday for me so I've been sporting coral pink lips to class. Kate Moss for Rimmel collection is ♥
As you can see I've been rocking the platinum ombre tips for a good 8 months already. I can't wait to get my hair cut and re-dye it pink. I need some colour back in my life.
Necklace was £4 from Primark courtesy of my mum who's here in London for my graduation. I'm a first class graduate on Monday y'all!



I'm going to see One Direction next year! :D