Tropical Christmas

top, socks and boots: Monki / shorts: market in Bangkok / accessories: H&M & American Apparel

An almost all Monki ensemble from me again. 
I spent Christmas with family for lunch, tea with my uncle, then dinner with friends and finally drinks in KL's infamous Sky Bar. Definitely a day to feel blessed.


My Favourite Blazer

Blazer: Monki / t-shirt: Cotton On / shorts: Cheap Monday

I unpacked my favourite blazer today. I love it's kimono-like shape, it brings an easygoing element to a traditionally structured item of clothing. I got this while I was still working at Monki and bought it the day I unpacked it from our store delivery! It's definitely one of our best-selling items, plus it has a cute name - Lara Stone blazer! I've worn this out and about in London a few times to go out dancing; good times, good times! The gemstones that adorn it really evoke starry nights and gives it that extra pizzazz so you stand out on the dance floor and in group pictures ;)  You can still get one online at Monki! I guarantee it is worth the £50 price tag.

I really miss being a Monki girl!

Let Lana tell you how depressed I feel here in Malaysia and our perpetual sunshine. How I long for cool weather, short but sunny days and to wear my favourite jumpers and beanies.



Festive Mood

Marc by Marc Jacobs script ring / evil eye bracelet from Brandy Melville

Christmas is in 2 days so I decided to paint my nails to get into a festive mood. I don't have any reds so I chose OPI's Wing It! from their Summer Flutter collection instead. It's hot pink, it's shimmery, and it sets a happy mood. I bought this Marc by Marc Jacobs ring last year at Harvey Nichol's boxing day sale for only £20 - such a steal! I'm a huge Marc fan but a poor graduate student :(

Also I wanted to showcase my now 1 month old septum piercing! Got it done in Leeds at the Corn Exchange and I am still obsessed! Really contemplating taking out my old nose stud now but that would kind of mean throwing away the £20 I spent to get it done. What to do?!



Street Snapped! Asos Fashion Finder @ Carnaby Street

Zip dress: Monki / shoes: Superga / (pleather) jacket: Primark / bag: Roxy / scarf: Vivienne Westwood

It is a (very thinly veiled) dream of mine to be unexpectedly street snapped as I go about my day. The fashion gods decided to smile upon me that one afternoon in October when The Nyanzi Report caught me on my way home from work in Carnaby Street. Thanks bro, you really made my day! Check me out on his Asos Fashion Finder page.

I really miss working at Carnaby Street! (and being a Monki girl)


Abbey Road

Trousers: Urban Outfitters / Jacket: Primark / Sneakers: H&M

Left foot; right foot

I'm just mindlessly wandering through life in this post-academic stupor.

Abbey Road was a 10 minute walk from my flat and I miss those days I'd walk there sit outside the studios and just watch tourists risk their lives for a photo.




I kind of like how fashion really does come in cycles. Was online Christmas shopping today on Urban Outfitters when this blouse by Little White Lies London caught my eye:

Now doesn't that remind you a little of this Viktor and Rolf for H&M blouse circa 2006?

I remember lusting after this blouse when the first promo images were released. Back then we didn't have a H&M and I didn't have access to a credit/debit card. Now my girlhood dream of owning this sweetheart blouse shall be realised! However, at £85 I think it's a bit much to ask for a design that's 7 years old and not even a slice of the Viktor + Rolf designer pie. If that doesn't stop you, you can buy the blouse in the first image at Urban Outfitters online. Happy (Xmas) shopping!



Missed Flavours

1) Snowflake's cold bestseller and soya ice series
2) Nasi lemak, ice lemon tea and kedondong juice (in English? Google says 'ambarella' juice) from Village Park
3) Banana leaf feast at Nirwana with long-missed friends

Being away for two years means that I have had a lot of catching up to do food-wise. I've missed the fiery sensation of spices, the different textures, abundance of cultural choice and most of all, Snowflake's cold bestseller in all its grass jelly-taroballs-creamer goodness! I didn't miss you Malaysia, but I really did miss your people and their cooking.



Invaluable Mementos

My dad asked me today if a rat had chewed on my shoe (this is a common occurrence where I live when you leave things outside the house). A similar situation happened when my cousin (she's 9) asked me if I was too poor to buy a new shoe because the one I was wearing had a huge hole in it.

I can replace this shoe, but I don't want to. It reminds me of my first trip to Amsterdam, at my first house party. There was wine, there was good music, there were too many bodies packed together in the huge loft. I remember the moment we were introduced: chemistry, that glint in our eyes, how he suddenly kissed me against the wall. Next thing I knew we stumbled inebriated into the frosty Dutch night. I can clearly remember watching the trees and the canals of Amsterdam past my feet as I sat on the back of his bicycle with his hands on top of mine inside his coat pockets reassuring me that everything was under control, "You're in Amsterdam, this is normal."

Then that shock when drunk ol' me got my foot caught in the spoke of his wheel. He cursed in Dutch and I screamed "fuck fuck fuck" as I hopped off. It was 3am and we were in the middle of the road. We stood under the streetlight and laughed and continued on our way.

This shoe represents all the things in life that I love: foreign countries, kissing, meeting irresistible strangers, just following wherever life takes you. No plans, no expectations, no worries - just this unspoken trust between two people. He kisses me again and I know how this night is going to end. I hardly know this guy, I know I'll never see him again. I'm not looking for Mr Right but I need Mr Right Now. I can replace this shoe, but I don't want to.



Don't Save Me

It's been exactly two weeks since I last touched down in KL.

Lots of things can change in two years and I felt like a foreign tourist in my own country. I'm missing London like crazy. I don't know what I am doing in my life. I feel like a zombie. Eat, sleep, watch some TV, repeat.

I won't lie, it was nice to see my family and friends again but right now I don't know how to move forward from here. I am in limbo. I know this though, I want to figure it out on my own. I don't need saving.



It's On with Alexa Chung

Is this euphoria?
I woke up in the morning with a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach. It was the 4th and I had approximately 9 days left to type out 6,000 words for my dissertation. I was going to meet my adviser with nothing to show. It was not a good way to start the day. I went on Twitter (like I always do, first thing I wake up) and then my breath hitched: Penguin - the publishers of Alexa Chung's new book - had announced a book signing. Today. At 5pm. At Liberty.

I had to go.
First let me contextualise the significance of this seemingly unimportant bit of news: 
I am an Alexa Chung fan. And not in a silly One Direction way, where I only like them for their looks etc. No. I've been a fan of Alexa since I was 17 (going on 18?), a time when I was still (cliche) trying to find myself. I used to be depressed that I never felt comfortable wearing "sexy" clothes like the rest of my peers who were confident in their skimpy spaghetti tops and micro mini skirts when going to class. I pressured myself to dress in a way to conform when all I really loved was the look of a collared shirt tucked into a jumper and a pair of denim shorts. My friends were always dolled up in heels and sundresses when we went out while I would prefer a button up shirt and shorts with flats. I was once even called out for dressing very dowdy, having preferred to wear sweaters over everything (I have a massive sweater collection). When we went shopping, I knew my friends would try to bite their tongue when I picked out something that was considered too "aunty" (example: dungarees, pinafore dresses). But I was stubborn. Sure I put up a front defending my sartorial choices and established myself as a fashion conscious individual among my circle of friends, but deep inside it was eating me. I would look at envy at all those "normal" girls in the local mall dressed in crop tops and shorts, skin tight dresses and platform sandals; I wondered why I couldn't pull that look off. Then one day after skimming through the pages of Teen Vogue as per usual, I discovered Alexa in 2008.

I think it was one of those Teen Vogue "girl to watch" editorials where they would feature multiple pictures of a (usually up and coming) female celeb they deemed to have great style. That month was Alexa Chung. I clearly remember staring at one photo of her dressed in a white t-shirt tucked into a mid length skirt paired with a white blazer and Chelsea boots. Another had her in a black blazer and shorts teamed with a navy polka dot shirt while carrying her namesake Mulberry bag. In the next picture, she was wearing a short but long sleeved dress paired with a pair of FLATS and her Chanel bag slung across her body in an "market aunty" sort of way. I thought to myself, "This girl is amazing! She's covered up but she's still so sexy - how does she do it?!" 

I was hooked. I dropped the magazine (that would later influence my decision to do my MA in magazine publishing) and rushed to the computer. I Googled Alexa Chung. I saved all her pictures and hungrily watched all her old Popworld and Frock Show videos where she was presenter. I bookmarked the MTV blog which documented her daily outfits when she was presenting It's On with Alexa Chung (you can still view it here) and probably referred to British Vogue's Today I'm Wearing online feature (here) with Alexa so many times they were probably wondering why they had such a surge of visits from Malaysia. I think the peak of my "obsession" so to speak was during my internship at a women's mag in 2009. A fellow intern was carrying fake Mulberry Alexa to work and I immediately asked her where she got it from. I remember that hot day when I went to Central Market with Mag and Luke where we ate beef ball noodles and haggled over the price of two (fake) Alexa's with the Nepalese seller. I would secretly save pictures of her at work and print out in colour (a great luxury) hi-res pictures of outfits I deemed the most inspiring. I'd buy magazines with her on the cover and rip out the pages and cover to put them into my special folder. At the height of it, I would go shopping with only one mission: buy everything that Alexa wore. I bought shoes in same style. I bought lots of striped tops. Denim shorts became a staple. At one point I wanted to create my own style blog dedicated to showcase my replicated outfits. But I didn't because I thought (a) thats what Tumblr is for and (b) that seemed a bit creepy.

So to say that Alexa has influenced my style doesn't really cover it. Sure, I may have gone a little cuckoo with the copying but at the end of the day she taught me an important lesson: sexy doesn't have to be so blatant. It's not about the boobs, the butt, the skintight dresses. It's about wearing what you like and feeling comfortable. Look at every picture of Alexa. On any other girl, some of her outfits would be deemed boring or normal. However she wears it with such panache, such joie de vivre, carelessly but artlessly styled. It's all about the balance of ugly/pretty.

So today when I made my way to Liberty (just around the corner from where I work!) I stood in the stairwell and freaked out a little inside. I was going to meet the woman I have idolised at 17, the woman who I was going to name my firstborn daughter after (don't ask), the woman whom I told myself it was imperative that I should meet while living in London. And today...that dream came true:

I managed to choke back my tears. She said "Hello, how are you?" I choked a "Hello" back. Then she said to me: "I really like your outfit." Needless to say there was waterworks. What is that feeling when the person you have looked up to fashion-wise tells you that they "really like" your outfit? It is euphoria. That's what euphoria feels like. I was wearing a white tshirt, denim shorts and Chinese inspired jacket with scalloped flats - all influences from the woman herself. She was chatty. As she signed my book, she commented on how inky her hands were from the Sharpie (her nails were pastel purple; they were cut short). All I could think of was: this woman is so beautiful. She's talking to me. She's writing my name inside her book. Her eyes are so blue. She smells really nice. The lady from Selfridges said I didn't give her my phone/camera to take a picture. I looked at Alexa and said, "I was wondering if it was okay if we could take a selfie instead?" She said yes. She even suggested that we turn around towards the windows so that there wouldn't be any backlight. She apologised if that seemed a little diva-ish (OF COURSE NOT). I leaned in closer to her and took a photo with my iPhone. I took another one and she leaned in closer. After that I asked her for a hug. And then I don't what came over me I said (in a really chokey voice) "You should come to Asia someday. You have a lot of fans." And she replied, "Oh yeah, I've been meaning to sometime in the future." And then I said thanks and hurried out of the room and then I called my mum and started crying like a creepy mad stalker.

I met Alexa Chung. She told me she liked my outfit. She signed my book. We exhanged words. We took selfies. I cried and went home. Today is one of the best days of my life.



15 Days to Submission

Its writing in my new 'nook' aka the space between the foot of my bed and the window; sitting on top of a blanket and perching my laptop on a shelf turned on its side for a desk.

Its dancing around my room rapping to Nicki Minaj during breaks.

Its making every excuse to go to the bathroom or to cook breakfast/lunch/dinner.

Its when my hygiene goes down the toilet.



Is Home Where The Heart Is?

I don't know where I belong. 

It certainly isn't Malaysia and London right now doesn't seem to want me.

I'm stressed out; working hours to pay rent and finish my 15,000 word dissertation. I don't want to rely on my parents handouts but I am tired and hungry. The only direction I have right now is towards work and the library.



Play 'Crush' by Mandy Moore ad infinitum.
Ohboyohboyohboyohboy damn here come those feelings again.



Birthday Song

July: Listening to cheesy pop and eating homemade cake at Silje's. Danced in a stuffy Camden pub with a group of tipsy Norwegians.

August: Vanessa's saw us tipping back 2-for-1 cocktails at Liverpool St. We had drunken races in Spitalfields Market until I fell and hit my head hard against the cement.We drank till closing time, made friends with the waitresses and ended up pissing in public on unsuspecting London shopfronts. 

Rang in Joshua's at Big Ben at midnight. Blew cupcakes among the London Eye. Lunch at Duck and Waffle had London on our feet.

My birthday is long gone, but I don't know about you I'm feeling 22.

"Birthday its your birthday, if I die bury me inside the Gucci store. All I want for my birthday is a big booty ho."




Tshirt: Primark, Levi's cutoffs: La Mona Checa in Madrid, scarf: H&M

Despite growing up around Levi's jeans (my mother owned a store in KL and used to store stock in our living room) I've never owned a pair of 501s, mine were always the red tab 550. I bought these in a circus themed vintage store in Madrid and I highly recommend checking it out if you're ever near the Malasana area!

I picked up this lip crayon from Topshop randomly the other day trying to use up the money from my gift card. It's called 'Clueless' and I am in love! Its a vibrant hot pink and named after my favourite movie of all time - what's not to love? Plus, I have fun colouring in my lips like a colouring book.



Afer failing to get Tomorrowland tickets back in March, my good friend Rhema asked if I wanted to join her and another friend Charlene for Parklife back in June (I know this post is long overdue). It was a fun weekend in Manchester, I got to see Iggy Azalea twerk, had the lead singer of The Temper Trap push his crotch in my face, catch Madeon for the second time, rock out to The Horrors and discover some great new acts under a tent with thousands of other people.



Its 5.30am and I have to be up at 9 to be at work at 10. We went to Proud Camden for Josh & Vanessa's birthday celebration and drank glowing blue cocktails under the rain in a shed next to a hot tub and danced under twinkly lights in the stables. The golden moment was exiting the club and this indian guy was harassing Josh & I going "dei dei dei pundek" over and over again but we pretended to not understand. He was probably a fellow Malaysian but calling people in that fashion is not going to make you friends tough guy.
 2.30am we YOLO-ed and headed to Fabric (dubbed the 'best club in London') with the intentions of staying till 7. Fabric was a maze of hallways, endless staircases and three large underground 'caves' packed with people and the sounds of heavy bass.



Summer Time, Summer Dress

Going out dancing on Friday night I wore my new dress from American Apparel that I previously admired on a friend. When I found it during my lunch break at work yesterday it felt like fate wanted me to buy it. I feel like good things will happen in this dress.



Hello blog,

Long time no see. Sorry, I've just been in and out of a funk but now that I've started my part time job (finally!) I really feel that things are going to pick up.

I'm also in the midst of writing my 12-15k word dissertation for my MA so (not really) I'm going to use that as an excuse.

A friend and I had a random afternoon conversation the other day and she invited me over and gave me a truly brilliant idea. I'm going over to see if it could actually work or come into fruition someday but ill fill you in when the time comes. For now, my life will revolve around nothing but clothes and e-commerce!


I'm an addict for dramatics

- I confuse the two for love.
Nothing is concrete. Nothing is forever. 
And you like so many before are the reason why I hesitate to admit to anyone that I am in anything that remotely has some semblance to a *gasp* relationship. And it sucks because whenever someone asks me if I'm seeing anyone I die inside to tell them but I don't because I don't want to jeopardise things

but I do, anyway.


Hot Hot Heat


Summer has definitely descended upon London. Gone are the days I throw a knit cardi over everything, now I even walk out of my apartment in my tank and pyjama trousers to buy milk from the corner shop. Sun, strawberries and Wimbledon.




The differences between picture 1 and pictures 2 & 3 are:
I am a year older (22)
I pierced my nose
I live in North West London
I did it on a whim on a bus ride past a tattoo shop in Camden on a sunny afternoon. I walked into the shop asked the guy how much it was paid and walked out of there a changed woman (physically, y'know?)