Invaluable Mementos

My dad asked me today if a rat had chewed on my shoe (this is a common occurrence where I live when you leave things outside the house). A similar situation happened when my cousin (she's 9) asked me if I was too poor to buy a new shoe because the one I was wearing had a huge hole in it.

I can replace this shoe, but I don't want to. It reminds me of my first trip to Amsterdam, at my first house party. There was wine, there was good music, there were too many bodies packed together in the huge loft. I remember the moment we were introduced: chemistry, that glint in our eyes, how he suddenly kissed me against the wall. Next thing I knew we stumbled inebriated into the frosty Dutch night. I can clearly remember watching the trees and the canals of Amsterdam past my feet as I sat on the back of his bicycle with his hands on top of mine inside his coat pockets reassuring me that everything was under control, "You're in Amsterdam, this is normal."

Then that shock when drunk ol' me got my foot caught in the spoke of his wheel. He cursed in Dutch and I screamed "fuck fuck fuck" as I hopped off. It was 3am and we were in the middle of the road. We stood under the streetlight and laughed and continued on our way.

This shoe represents all the things in life that I love: foreign countries, kissing, meeting irresistible strangers, just following wherever life takes you. No plans, no expectations, no worries - just this unspoken trust between two people. He kisses me again and I know how this night is going to end. I hardly know this guy, I know I'll never see him again. I'm not looking for Mr Right but I need Mr Right Now. I can replace this shoe, but I don't want to.


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