5.08.2015

State

Sometimes I don't know whether I should miss you or forget about you. My mind tells me the latter, but my heart says the former. Every single time I am left alone with my thoughts - in bed, in the bath, by the pool, eating - my mind drifts towards thoughts of you. They say actions speak louder than words and that's all I think of - your actions when we were together. They leave me feeling happy for a while and then I am sad. Heart wrenching, uncontrollable tears.
The saying goes, "the best way to get over someone is to get under another". Believe me this is ill advice. It will only leave your body satisfied but you in a mess crying in the toilet trying to stifle your sobs so the other person can't hear you. It's kind of hard to explain to someone: that they're a rebound and you wanted to try and fuck the pain away but it didn't work so thanks very much I know am crying but let's get it on again now.
The gist of this post is: I miss him (even though I shouldn't), you cannot fuck the pain away and the heart will always want what it wants. Like Ben says, "attraction is not a choice".

I miss him. Ich vermisse dich.
x

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